Nothing Much

Nothing much DIY

This is how to write your own Nothing Much blog post, or something very similar. This may defeat the object of doing this in the first place, it seems like an unsuccessful comedian teaching how to write jokes, or a failed musician teaching an instrument, but I don’t mind. So, here for your enjoyment (or more likely endurance) is how to write a blog post like the inconsequential “Nothing Much”.

First of all, don’t write as just one person. Everybody who reads this already knows that James Elmash is actually a combination of people rather than just one person, those people being two of the writers of the “Playlist of a woman’s life” article, with a logo designed by the guy who did the first game reviews of 2011 on this site, following the rantings of some guy we all know who carries a marble everywhere he goes.

Second. Slip in the odd lie. Most of the content of the Nothing Much series is true, or at least opinion, but the odd little lie will be put in there either because lying is just fun, or because it made ol’ James chuckle while writing it.

Next, never assume that anybody will ever read it. It will be proof read a couple of times to make sure the grammer are nice. (I know that should have said “the grammar is correct” but I chose that version) However, the likelihood is that the posts are not read by anybody else. This is not a bad thing. It means you can write pretty much whatever you like, and nobody is there to care.

Make a boring logo. Something in black and white, with a text box that makes your skills at Microsoft paint seem far more lacking than they are. Also use Times New Roman for the font. These two things make the blog seem as boring as it really is, while making it seem like you care a lot less about it than you actually do. It should seem like you are indifferent to it.

Don’t be afraid to talk about anything. If it comes to mind, and flows in any way, then type it up. Many a Nothing Much has been written at 3am (which explains a lot really). It should ideally take up one side of A4, but a little more or a little less is fine.

You are never sorry. If you have invented a character, like James Elmash, Derren Mckenzie, Chris Renfield, Jillian Manat or Phillip Osborne, then all that is written is through them. Thus, people have no right to be angry at you, as somebody else wrote it. If that makes sense at all.

Finally, ignore everything I have written above. If, somehow you have got it into your head that you wish to emulate my style of writing, then stop giving a flying feline about what other people have done. Just type down the words that enter your head, and regardless of how they sound, it is what you think, writing in the way you think it.

James Elmash.